- Joined
- 20-Jun-2003
- Messages
- 2,011
- Reaction score
- 160
- Age
- 51
- Lumina
- 431,082
- Gender
- Female
HP
85/85
EP
79/80
FYE (For your enjoyment):
I found the following so funny, I just had to pass it along.
"Swearing At Work"
It has been brought to management's attention that
some individuals throughout the company have been
using foul language during the course of normal
conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints
received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be
tolerated.
We do however, realize the critical importance of
being able to accurately express your feelings when
communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 20
New and Innovative phrases have been provided so that
proper exchange of ideas and information can continue
in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.
3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!
6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f____ing problem.
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner, a__hole?
11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job s_cks.
17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you King?
18 ) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.
19 ) TRY SAYING: Is it possible for us to deliver that tomorrow?
INSTEAD OF: Did you not notice it's pouring outside, D__khead?
20 ) TRY SAYING: I'm going to have to get re-accustomed to these new policies.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___ do you want from me now?
Thank You For Your Consideration,
Human Resources
I found the following so funny, I just had to pass it along.
"Swearing At Work"
It has been brought to management's attention that
some individuals throughout the company have been
using foul language during the course of normal
conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints
received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be
tolerated.
We do however, realize the critical importance of
being able to accurately express your feelings when
communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 20
New and Innovative phrases have been provided so that
proper exchange of ideas and information can continue
in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.
3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!
6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f____ing problem.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner, a__hole?
11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job s_cks.
17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you King?
18 ) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.
19 ) TRY SAYING: Is it possible for us to deliver that tomorrow?
INSTEAD OF: Did you not notice it's pouring outside, D__khead?
20 ) TRY SAYING: I'm going to have to get re-accustomed to these new policies.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___ do you want from me now?
Thank You For Your Consideration,
Human Resources
